By Daniel Fleet
Remember when you fell in love with your spouse? The warm fuzzy feelings, the late night dates, and long conversations. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in love. So you got married. And then life hit you hard!
Amid other things, careers and children begin to fill your already busy life. If you’re like most couples one of the first things that gets pushed to the side is dating your spouse. When we abandon the things that helped us fall in love we will just as easily fall out of love.
In a recent article published in USA Today, psychologist Howard Markman of the University of Denver and director of the university’s Center for Marital and Family studies said, “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time. The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high, and significant.” One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to never stop dating your spouse.
The following are helpful steps when it comes to dating your spouse:
1. Dating should be diverse
Men and women view dating differently. Women typically want friendship and intimacy; they want to have conversation. Men simply want to share an activity together such as golf or a sports game; they want a buddy. It’s important to note that most men will open their spirit when you are doing something together.
Find activities you can both engage in and you will find conversation unfolding to the satisfaction of both partners.
2. Dating should be scheduled
For my wife and I, if it doesn’t get on the calendar it doesn’t get done. Date nights should be given priority on our calendars and protected against other events in our life.
3. Dating should be exclusive
It’s best to put distractions aside and focus on your spouse for the time you have allotted. Put away the electronic devices, get a babysitter for the kids, and give attention to your spouse.
4. Dating should be consistent
Dating isn’t a one-time event. It’s something that should be done weekly and consistently. If you miss a week don’t beat yourself up. Simply try again the next week.
Many marriages are faltering at alarming rates and it’s not necessary. A simple Internet search will give you a lot of great ideas for spending time with your spouse. This week I challenge you to go on a date and fall in love again!