by Andrew Calabrese
My wife and I have been married for a little over a month now! Woohoo! It’s great! Whether you’ve been married for a month or several years, marriage is a wonderful entity that God designed for you and your spouse to enjoy. The sad thing is that many people in our society today are not enjoying their marriage like they once did. Even amongst believers, marriages are becoming stale and unexciting.
I have noticed that when people observe my wife and I, they often conclude, “Oh, they must have just been married,” or, “You can tell that they just got married!” Why would they assume that? Well, evidently we are manifesting the fact that we love one another, and that we enjoy being alongside each other. Here’s a major dilemma in marriages today: spouses are not manifesting their love and adoration toward each other as often as they should. As a result, the husband feels bored, the wife feels unloved, and people on the outside observing their marriage think, “Do they even like each other?”
I want to submit to you three ways you can fabricate an enjoyable, vibrant, healthy, growing relationship with your spouse. I do not consider myself a marriage guru by any means, for my wife and I just got married ourselves. However, if you have just gotten married and are trying to figure things out (like us), or if you have been married for quite some time and things have become mundane, I hope these tips will help you and your spouse return to the “honeymoon stage” and stay there.
1. Be Playful
Do you remember when you and your spouse used to flirt? You probably flirted a lot more before you were married compared to after you were married. Just because you are married now does not mean this goes kaput. In fact, one of your wife’s most important needs from you as a husband is loving affection. So, be playful. Do fun things together. Have a tickle contest; engage in a pillow fight; dance; bust out to a favorite song; have a food fight; squirt each other when doing the dishes…here’s the point: have fun with each other. Quit being “fuddy duddies” and be playful.
2. Be Creative
Nobody likes the same old, same old, including your spouse. So, when trying to show your affection to them, be creative. Come up with something new and original. Guys, do not buy your wife a gift card and buy her a birthday card from Walmart. Instead, try making her a card, or endeavor in making her a gift. You could write your spouse a love note to read when they first wake up; you could get your spouse their favorite drink from Starbucks; you could call them out of the blue, just to see how they’re doing. I think you get the point. Be innovative!
3. Be Spiritual
Because Katie and I were like a gazillion miles apart when we were engaged, we only had one session for our pre-marital counseling, but you know what the preacher told us? “If your walk with God stinks, then your marriage will stink too.” In just being married for a little over a month, we have found that statement to bear a lot of truth. The most essential element to fabricating an enjoyable, vibrant, healthy, growing relationship with your spouse is a close walk with God. You can strive to be creative and be playful, but if you aren’t spiritual, then joy will be absent. Not only in your life individually will joy be non-existent, but also much more in your marriage. Give priority to the spiritual, and your marriage will thrive.